{"id":44,"date":"2007-12-05T17:51:52","date_gmt":"2007-12-05T16:51:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/2007\/12\/05\/giggles-near-a-plane\/"},"modified":"2007-12-05T17:51:52","modified_gmt":"2007-12-05T16:51:52","slug":"giggles-near-a-plane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/2007\/12\/05\/giggles-near-a-plane\/","title":{"rendered":"Giggles near a plane!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Whilst I&#8217;m at it, some equally well travelled quotes from the flight crews of Quantas airlines. Ninjad from http:\/\/www.normanaviation.com\/funny.php<\/p>\n<p>Q: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.<br \/>\nA: Almost replaced left inside main tire.<br \/>\nQ: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.<br \/>\nA: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.<br \/>\nQ: Something loose in cockpit.<br \/>\nA: Something tightened in cockpit.<br \/>\nQ: Dead bugs on windshield.<br \/>\nA: Live bugs on back-order.<br \/>\nQ: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.<br \/>\nA: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.<br \/>\nQ: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.<br \/>\nA: Evidence removed.<br \/>\nQ: DME volume unbelievably loud.<br \/>\nA: DME volume set to more believable level.<\/p>\n<p>Q: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.<br \/>\nA: That&#8217;s what friction locks are for.<br \/>\nQ: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.<br \/>\nA: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.<br \/>\nQ: Suspected crack in windshield.<br \/>\nA: Suspect you&#8217;re right.<br \/>\nQ: Number 3 engine missing.<br \/>\nA: Engine found on right wing after brief search.<br \/>\nQ: Aircraft handles funny.<br \/>\nA: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.<br \/>\nQ: Target radar hums.<br \/>\nA: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.<br \/>\nQ: Mouse in cockpit.<br \/>\nA: Cat installed.<br \/>\nQ: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.<br \/>\nA: Took hammer away from midget.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Whilst I&#8217;m at it, some equally well travelled quotes from the flight crews of Quantas airlines. Ninjad from http:\/\/www.normanaviation.com\/funny.php Q: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. A: Almost replaced left inside main tire. Q: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. A: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. Q: Something loose in cockpit. A: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davstott.me.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}